I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
Randomize
