Sponge bath it is.
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
Well, we broke up and instead of putting my shit out on the curb like a normal person, she fucking donated everything to Goodwill. So now I have to pay two dollars for one of my own t shirts.
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
Randomize
