Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
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