All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
He's a Shit stain on my heart
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
Randomize
