So I've decided that when I turn 50 and have to have a colonoscopy I'm going to leave a surprise for the doctor to find.
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
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