That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
I woke up with a chicken in my yard
Do you not remember hopping the fence into a chicken coop and screaming "choot em'"like you were on swamp people?
No recollection, can you come help me shut this thing up
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
Randomize
