he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
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