If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
Randomize
