It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
Come share oat with me in your robe
Randomize
