Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
Firetruck pulls up, fireman jumps out n knocks on my door, asks "do you know where Johnny lives?"
Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
Randomize
