How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
Randomize
