if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
Don't worry, your car is safe with me. I am throwing watermelons out of it at mailboxes and hipster kids.
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize