I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
Randomize
