piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
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