you should give me head with plastic fangs in
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
Randomize
