do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
where am i from again
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
Randomize
