Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
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