Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
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