Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
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