physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
Randomize
