Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
Randomize
