Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
When are your genitals available?
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
Randomize
