I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
Randomize
