It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
she woke up with a sticky ear
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
third nipple confirmed
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
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