Just fell off a train. Bad.
How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
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