Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
Randomize
