ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
Apparently, banging my bartender ex-girlfriend = free drinks again. Not every bad decision is a wrong decision.
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
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