my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
She did NOT find it funny to come upstairs to find me with the word "MISERY" written on my forehead in magic marker and the label to the vodka bottle replaced with a scrap of paper taped around that says "COMPANY"
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
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