I woke up, mistook him for my ex, and started screaming. It was all that chest hair. I don't think this relationship is going anywhere.
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize
