is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
New guy at the liquor store was inexplicably fascinated by our huge jug of williams. First he said what are you gonna mix THAT with? and looked confused when I said air.
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
Randomize
