Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
Randomize
