whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
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