We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
Randomize
