Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
I will one day have loud vengeance sex as my revenge against you. Until then I'm just going to sit in the living room playing John Mayer while you're trying to do it.
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
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