I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
Sent. All. My. Texts. Like. This. Last. Night. Thank. You. Weed. Also. Had. A. Dream. About. A. Serial. Killer. That. Killed. Everyone. Except. Me. And.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
