Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
I have already put on my inside pants.
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
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