FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He dared you to draw a map of the USA on your wall in mustard. You drew something that vaguely resembled a velociraptor eating Oklahoma, got embarrassed because you forgot how to spell America, then hid out in the coat closet until everybody left.
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
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