Sry I called you an 8
Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
Randomize
