I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
Randomize
