I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
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