am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
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