Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
Randomize
