his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
Randomize