i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
He just brought me a wine glass. Full of Tequila. Ignore any texts after this one.
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
Randomize
