i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
I would fuck him just for his dog
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