Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
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