Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
the gays at disneyland are vicious
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
Randomize
