if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
