I am apparently in rockville maryland. I just threw up my tater tots I had fro brunch in a safeway parking lot. Then ordered a pizza. Pepperoni and pineapple. I'm sitting in the parking lot, next to my barf, waiting for my pizza. WOOF. Someone just gave me an oxycontin tab. Can u come get me? I'm scared
I think im going to throw up on grandma
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
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don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
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I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
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