Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
I need to align my fucking chakras
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
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