I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
I'd cum for enchiladas.
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
You now have a new job. Call me around 1pm everyday and make sure I've eaten something. All I've had today is dick and cheesecake.
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
Randomize
