Dude, you need to talk to your mom
wtf?
She just called and asked if i would be part of the intervention she's planning for you
shes about as inviting as chlamydia
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
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