ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
Randomize
