Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
so I was like, you know platform 9 3/4? I know something else with those measurements. best. pick up line. ever.
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
Ordered weed last night from the delivery service, and who showed up...my old real estate broker. He said, "this is less stressful." Duh.
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
Randomize
