If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
Sorry about my life...
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
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