My cousins just decided to make a catapult to spread my Grandpa's cremated remains. I love my family.
Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
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