Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
He called me for phone sex. Do you know how hard it is to fake an orgasm, and play Candy Crush at the same time?
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
