We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
Randomize
