love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
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