I gave my ex the dutch oven last night. How was your night?
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
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is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
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I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize